MAC WK 4 Blog 4 - Unfortunately we haven't gorwn up much

"If I cannot be present without resistance to the way things are and act effectively, it I feel myself to be wronged, a loser, or a victim, I will tell myself that some assumption I have made is the source of my difficulty." Zander, The Art of Possibility

The book, The Art of Possibility, asks us to think of taking responsibility for everything that happens to us, and in doing so allows us to be free to choose again. I have always been an easy going person. Although the idea presented is intended to be shocking and even controversial, it ring a chord within me. I continually see people who are truly burdened by seeking to right a wrong that has been done to them. I don't see them living a richer or fuller life through this, what I see is a lot of pain and suffering. Yes, things need to be dealt with and their needs to be justice, but it doesn't affect the psyche as one might think. By not seeing things from an individualistic perspective and and instead by looking at the whole picture, can change a persons perspective. Zander calls this, "being the board".

People are more narcissistic than they want to believe. As we grow older we think we have moved beyond the 3 year old throwing a fit because they didn't get their way, when really we have the same emotional reactions as our 3 year old self, only we have learned to control it in a seemingly socially acceptable way. Why does everything have to be fair? Who ever even told us that anyway?

Being "the board" goes way beyond personal gain. Think of how much fuller our relationships could be if people trusted that no matter what happened between us, we would take the responsibility. What a freeing friendship. There would be no blaming, no hard feeling, no lingering thoughts that would fester until they are blown out of proportions.

This type of thinking sets one up for success. It helps to move people beyond the situation and helps them to take control, move forward, and be successful. The woe is me attitude has never gotten anyone anywhere.